SHOCK& AWE

There's a myth in this underground world we inhabit that if you sleep with a girl within minutes of meeting her, that's not solid game.

On the one hand, I agree.

If you fluke out once in a while and find some random chick who's just looking to get laid, that's not you - that's just luck.

Some guys will harp on about how great they are at getting girls because it happens to them once in a blue moon.

I speak from experience. I too was once a deluded chode.

HOWEVER.

What if it's not every once in a while?

What if you can pull chicks in minutes, consistently. And not munters (US translation: warpigs) mind. What if you can consistently pull stunning girls, rapidly?

Is that solid game?

You tell me.

In this article I will sketch out a detailed map of how to pull off "Fool's Mate" pickups with consistency and panache.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I'll begin.

THE BEST NATURAL I EVER MET

When I decided that I was going to get good with women, I was broke. I had no money, and I had no friends.

I'd gotten fired from my fancy job in the sandstone maze of London's Square Mile, and I was in debt. I moved to Edinburgh because I couldn't afford London rent, and I slept on my sister's
couch until I found a job.

The job I found was bartending. It was good, easy work. After the nightmarish stress of the financial sector, it felt like heaven.

Besides, it also meant that I'd be talking to lots of girls.

That was good, but the real benefit I got from taking that job was a guy called Andy.

I thank God every day that my path crossed with Andy's.

Andy was amazing.

He was just jaw-dropping. He wasn't ugly, but he wasn't particularly good looking. He was an engineering student who worked in a bar.

I have never seen a man pull that well.

We became friends, and as I worked at approaching and approaching, I started to improve.

Ultimately though, it was Andy that made me great.

You see, I'd messed around with 'indirect, tactical' game, but found it weak, pointless, unnatural.

Direct game was different. Powerful, exciting, real. I found my results getting better and better.

But I was nothing compared to Andy.

You see, Andy didn't date. Ever.

He didn't date, he didn't buy girls drinks, he didn't call them, he NEVER took phone numbers.

At the age of 21, he'd already slept with over 150 women.

Engineering student.

Bartender.

ANDY'S SECRET

One day I asked him a question. I'd just gotten tested in a massive way by this hot Swedish chïck, and completely crashed out.

I ran the test by Andy. It was this:

"You just want to sleep with me, don't you?"

I offered several responses - Play it hard to get. Play it cocky. Play it sweet.

Andy just laughed at me. Then he said this:

"You know what I'd have said? I'd have said - yeah. I'll do you in every hole you've got."

He said it with a beaming grin on his face, laughing as he said it. Not joking as he said it, mind - that's important. Laughing, but not joking.

I thought about this for a time, then I began to use it. Not his line, but his attitude.

Amazingly, it worked. Even while I was testing this out, I'd rarely get blown out. And my results skyrocketed.

Toward the end of my singledom, before I met my beautiful girlfriend, I would walk out of the house alone, walk into the first busy bar I saw, walk up to the hottest chïck in the room,
pull her, take her home and sleep with her.

I would do this consistently, without getting blown out. One approach per night. 100% success.

Believe me or not, I don't care. It is true. I used to do it to show off to all my friends.

In the end, even Andy couldn't match me.

SHOCK and AWE

It's a way of getting a Fool's Mate - that is to say, a rapid seduction that takes minutes and not hours.

This was always something of a holy grail to me - I saw naturals pull consistent same night lays, and I knew that I would do that too.

I hated phone game - still do. I'm awful at it. I'm rubbish on the phone because one day after calling through 25 numbers I'd collected one afternoon and getting nothing, I decided I'd never
take another phone number, no matter HOW PROMISING it seemed to be.

Same night, or nothing. That was my training rule.

Besides, I was always curious about the 'GM method'. Many of you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but basically way back in the day there was a PUA who claimed to have cracked the Fool's Mate Code.

His 'style' was, he said, extremely 'advanced' and 'high risk'.

As such, it never caught on.

SHOCK and AWE is not high risk. It sounds like it is, but it's really not - and I'll explain why in a moment.

It's not even advanced. I'd call it intermediate. If you can open, and you can get attraction, and you can chill out and chat with a chick and not get weird - you can do this.

It is not a quick fix solution for hopeless newbies. Sorry.

If you're having problems stringing a sentence together, if your body language sucks, if you have bad VOICE PROJECTION (this, as Jeffy points out, is crucial to all game) - this will not work.

However, if you're plateauing somewhere in the intermediate stages, (or if you just hate getting phone numbers like I do) this might be EXACTLY what you need.

I never felt that GM method, or any other Fool's Mate method were very well explained.

Hardcore insta-pickups seem always to be written as very high-risk things for, well, Grand Masters.

I wanted to provide something much simpler, something easier that is devastatingly effective and instantly useable.

So here it is, gentlemen. Shock and Awe.

IT'S ALL SO SIMPLE

A good friend of mine once asked, regarding pickup - "Why isn't this easy?"

The answer is, as he pointed out, that it is easy. We just make it complex.

Shock and Awe is, very simply, something I developed out of SOIing too much when I was closing a chick down so I could kiss her/grab her and leave/whatever.

I developed a very specific kind of SOI (statement of intent) that covers your back socially while allowing you to come out with the most outrageous stuff - stuff that gets her very horny, very fast.

I'd use principles from this to sex up the vibe of a conversation with a chick if it was getting dull. The point is though, you don't need to do that.

I realised that you can open with it. You can open, and then drop straight into a continual SOI loop and close a chick straight down very fast. It's a kind of vibe, you can feel when you've hit it because it's electric. You can just go ape from the outset and drive her crazy, then take her home.

THE MECHANICS OF FOOL'S MATE GAME

This is a very basic sketch of Shock and Awe.

Basically, BEING OPEN about your desire and BLAMING THE CHICK for being hot is dynamite.

Toward the end of my pickup rampage I had developed a whole new kind of game around doing just this one thing.

I called it Shock and Awe, because it is shocking, awesome, and if you nail it you can pull a chick extremely quickly. It's mental. I love it. I stopped doing it for a while because it got boring.

No, really.

The final thing to understand before we get to the nitty gritty of what to do is this:

The SOIs you use in Shock and Awe aren't really SOIs as such.

You're not making a "Statement of Interest." You're not making a "Statement Of Intent."

You're stating your DESIRE.

This is a whole 'nuther level of important. There's not "I intend to sleep with you" or "I am interested in you". This is you talking about your DESIRE alone. That is all. How hot she is. How sexy she is. How awesome her body is.

Just pure sex, right from the outset.

ENOUGH FOREPLAY: HERE IT IS...

To map the basic structure of Shock and Awe it would be

1) APPROACH WITH AN SOI THEN SOI STACK, BLAMING HER HOTNESS FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

Make sure they are creative and funky SOIs. Think of it like jazz. SOI jazz. Free form, just go for it. Say anything. It's not important. What is important is that you blame her for being hot.
Say something like:

"Excuse me, but WHAT? What do you WANT? Do you want me to just walk on BY? I mean, you're absolutely STUNNING. Do you want me to just PRETEND like that doesn't effect me? I mean, HOW? I'm just some GUY. I can't turn it off. What are you trying to DO to me, woman?"
etc....

You're not shouting, BTW - keep it cool. Capitalization just there for emphasis.

2) ALWAYS BE ESCALATING PHYSICALLY, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.

Blame her for the fact you can't keep your hands off her. Act like you're trying to keep your hands of her and you just can't. Blame her more. Ask her why she's doing this to you. Physically fight your urge to touch her, and make this conflict OBVIOUS. You are a wild animal STRAINING against a tight fucking leash. You're in control... but BARELY.

Don't fake this. Really get into this headspace. This is the key to the whole thing.

3) EXPRESS DESIRE, DO THIS RELENTLESSLY AND BLAME HER FOR IT.

Tell her you deserve a gold star for effort for not jumping all over her. Keep it funny, but make sure the vibe is highly erotic. Remember - LAUGHING, NOT JOKING. Tell her that if she doesn't stop being hot you're not going be held responsible. Tell her to eat a load of pies, and gain 5 stone so you can connect with her personality without wanting to tear all her clothes off.

4) IF YOU PUSH IT TOO FAR, APOLOGIZE FOR THE DISRESPECT AND NOT THE
ACTION.

Genuinely apologize. Really. Actually do this and MEAN IT.

But remember - ONLY apologize for the DISRESPECT.

NEVER apologize for the ACTION/SOI/KINO.

Then tell her you did it because she's really hot. Blame her for being hot. Tell her she should wear a bag over her head so you can have a normal conversation with her.

5) GO TO STEP 2.

You can basically do this until she breaks. It's great.

Just remember guys, use a condom.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS IT REALLY THAT SIMPLE?

Honest to God, have consistently pulled hot chïcks with this. It's not infallible, but it's hilarious and it blows through all the BS.

CAN I DO THIS IN A GROUP OF GIRLS?

Yup. It's a different ball game though.

GROUP SHOCK AND AWE.

S+A the entire group as an opener and then drop into a highly charged comfort phase.

This is actually really easy.

This is also how you NEUTRALIZE ALL RISK associated with being so extreme.

You just say something like "No - no, this is ridiculous. I'm going to find out who you are. You can't do this to me. I have depth. Tell me about yourself."

And then they do (either that or they demand to know who you are, but it's all in good fun) and boom, you're chatting. It acts like an explosive, funny, charming group opener.

They usually then fight it out amongst themselves for who gets to bang you, or you can hit on one especially if you like her.

DO I NEED LOTS OF ISOLATION?

Isolation? Sure, you need it, but you don't need much, especially in a club or a bar.

Normal rules apply - I wouldn't go for the kill on a chick in a seated set, just set the vibe then chill back, stay in contention and wait for an opening.

If it's a loud club, you can claw a chick close to you for isolation, or just lean in.

Basically, you don't need to be slavish about this. A few feet of distance will do it. Remember - SHOCK and AWE. As soon as you start you kick off this electric vibe.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE VIBE, ABOUT MAGNIFYING THE VIBE

And the vibe is generated from the fact that she's so sexy she's breaking you down, but you're resisting. That's where the tension comes from.

HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO BLAME THE CHICK FOR YOUR EXTREME ACTIONS?

This is the heart of it. You are talking direct, but you're blaming her hotness for your directness.

As such, it's like two different levels of compliment, both of which are highly unusual and extremely difficult to resist.

You're basically telling her it's totally out of character for you to behave like this and you're fighting it, but you're really, really struggling.

About 10% of your words should be telling her that she's hot.

About 90% of your words should be blaming her for the effect she's having on you. ‘The Blame Frame’.

This isn't an academic issue. THIS FRAME IS HOW YOU AVOID ASD WHEN GOING FOR A FOOL'S MATE. The frame is, she is breaking down your resolve with her hotness. This is massive. Why?

Because it defuses so many negative things.

First off, her ASD can't really kick in. Why not? Because she's not doing anything, and neither are you. You're just complimenting her. No girl is going to walk away from someone just because he says she's hot, not unless she's a nutter.

Secondly, it's a female fantasy. She's the femme fatale, destroying your resistance. The more fight you put up, the more resistance to her you express, and the more you lose this battle, the more she feels sexy.

YOU SAY I SHOULD KINO ESCALATE - HOW?

Look - you've gotta be savvy with it, but anyone who's good with girls will tell you that you can get very tactile very quickly as long as you aren't being weird.

Don't paw her. Slide your fingertips along her arms. Take her hand in yours, really, really lightly (this is killer). Glide your hands on her skin. Hardly touch her at all. Even move your hands toward her waist then pull them back as if dragging them back against resistance (don't be weird, it's all kinda tongue in cheek) and then give up. Then pull them back again. Then berate her more for being hot.

SHOULD YOU DO THIS AFTER A NORMAL OPENER?

I don't know what a normal opener is. I usually rock up and say hi, then blurt out something and play it by ear. Opening with this is sick though. You have to try it.

DON'T YOU NEED ZEN-MASTER LEVELS OF CALIBRATION?

No. You just have to be "not completely terrible."

Look - fair enough, calibration is important, but CALIBRATION DOES NOT MEAN HESITATION. You should be leading the encounter. Lead it. It goes where you go. You're the man.

WON'T THIS BREAK TOO MANY SOCIAL RULES?

That's WHY it works.

Yes - seriously.

The fact that you blame her means that she has to justify it as not being her fault.

But how can she do that? Is she going to say "I'm not that hot?"

No. She is a woman. She will, instead, love it.

It's a female fantasy, she's annihilating you with her looks alone. You're resisting but she's breaking you down.

They love it. Seriously, it's great.

DO I HAVE TO GO FOR BROKE EVERY TIME I USE THIS?

No. You can drop out of it any time with the line I gave you earlier

Also, this doesn't have to be used as such a high-octane thing.

Try dropping a little of it in here and there. See what happens. Learn to calibrate it. The vibe you want is half sexy mocking, half pure sex.

It is all about that vibe.

You can tell when you're good to go in for a kiss because she'll start darting in toward your lips then veering off, pretending it was by accident.

I call this "The Dive."

When you see this, grab her by the back of the neck and kiss the heck out of her.

SO ARE YOU SAYING I CAN JUST DO THIS?

Yup.

It's amazing how well this attitude defuses all the negative things about being really direct with girls.

And once you've defused them, boom - you can basically cut through all the tactics and just blast her with desire until she breaks.

WHAT IF I RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY?

A big part of this is about getting creative with your compliments. I don't want to give too many actual examples of stuff, mainly because the stuff you say doesn't have to be 'Da Vinci'.

This is NOT a routine-based method.

It is a direct method, a way of cultivating an attitude of non-weird, engaging, sexual expression. You can do it high octane and go for the Fool's Mate, or you can do it low-octane and just drop Shock and Awe SOI's in as and when in the context of chatting up a lovely young lady.

Sometimes you can strip it right down and say "You're really hot" to a girl, but in a kind of bolshy, accusing tone, almost like you're affronted by that fact. Like it's unfair, or out of context, or like she's just doing it to piss you off.

That works too.

Another one that I came up with that I thought was great (and makes a brilliant opener) is when I'm talking to a chick, to just look at her boobs, look back at her eyes, and then in my best Hugh Grantish voice say "I'm terribly sorry, I just totally checked you out."

They'll usually laugh and say "that's ok." or something. Then you can drop straight into S+A and say "It's your fault. You're totally stunning. I'm just some guy. I can't stand up to this kind of artillery."

I love saying that. The artillery thing. It's almost my trademark. Never got a bad reaction, ever. Not once.

SO I'VE JUST GOT TO BE FUNNY?

NO.

This is not a set of jokes.

It is a flow, a constant flow of jazz where the one thing goes into the other.

Occasionally the girl will coquettishly say "I'm sorry" when you blame her for being hot, to which you can blast back with "You're not sorry at all." And then she'll usually giggle.

Bless.

WARNING - GET YOUR INNER GAME SORTED OUT FIRST

There's something important that I want to say here.

I knew a guy who had major issues with women, really negative stuff. You know, when a guy gets vindictive, or harbours a grudge against women because they've never wanted him.

I showed him S+A, and pulled a couple of chicks in front of him so he could see it. He wanted to have a go.

It wasn't good.

When I watched him do this, you could actually see that he really was actually angry. It was scary and weird. We talked through a lot of it, but I realized that IF YOU DO ACTUALLY HARBOUR ACTUAL AGGRESSION OR RESENTMENT TOWARD WOMEN, THIS COMES ACROSS AND THEY WILL FREAK AND RUN.

Women are lovely. Remember this.

Just so everyone, especially guys who are absolutely starting out on this understand, there is no actual anger or malice involved in this. It's hard to convey voice tone over the Internet, so I'm going to spell this one out.

This is totally critical. It probably doesn't really need to be said on this list because this is a cool place, but I wanted to make that explicit. If you are actually angry with women, you need
to really address that before you do anything else, and certainly before you start pulling out stuff like this.

This is a way of expressing how much you desire a woman without weirding her out. THAT IS BASICALLY ALL S+A IS. It's just a highly concentrated way of doing it.

I know you guys get that here, I just wanted to get it in black and white so everyone's on the same page.

SO IF I DO THIS A CHICK WILL JUST JUMP ME?

If you do it right, very often she will, yes. HOWEVER - it's impossible to predict who will and who won't.

Depends on a million things. It can be very rapid, or it can take a while.

The beauty of this is that if it seems like she's not just in the mood to leap all over you, you can drop the S+A and just have a chat. Again, that line to segue into a more normal (though highly charged conversation is...

"no, you're not going to break me. I have depth. I'm going to get to know you properly, and there's nothing you can do about it. Tell me about yourself."

I'VE HEARD I SHOULDN'T GET GIRLS HORNY TILL WE'RE ALONE?

Disregard that utter garbage.

You get her properly BLAZING. Some guys will say that you should be tactical about this kind of thing.

I just can't be bothered.

As far as I see it, there's no point messing around when you're messing around with women.

WOW! THIS SOUNDS AMAZING! FINALLY! THE MAGIC PILL!

Nope. It's not a magic pill. As I said, this will only work for guys who are already reasonably comfortable with approaching.

If you're looking at this thinking "Awesome - now I don't have to do all those tricky approaches" then you're heading for a fall.

This takes guts.

Ok?

You need to get some guts, and you can only do that by approaching lots and lots of chicks and becoming cool with approaching.

Understand?

It's a Fool's Mate Game system that GENUINELY WORKS - but it is not the ANSWER to your PRAYERS.

Here's a good rule of thumb. If you're looking at this and getting excited because you think it's cool, odds are you're going to be able to do it.

If you're looking at this thinking it's the meaning of life, you're still a newbie and you need to get some experience.

Sorry.

OK, FAIR PLAY CIARAN. SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TECHNIQUE THOUGH.

It's not a technique. It is a mode of sexual expression.

I mapped out the stages just to give you a feel of what to do, but I hope you guys can see that this isn't a tactical thing. This is what happens when you say "forget tactics" and just go for it.

I originally came out with this on a chick who was just ludicrously hot, amazing eyes, dress, legs, face, teeth, ears, nasal hair – the works. I was in an absolutely chipper mood, nimbus aglow, just on top form.

I opened by telling her that it was ridiculous to expect me to just walk on by with her looking like that. She smiled, so I kept on saying the same kind of thing. Next thing I know she's kissing me.

What I'm saying is that this HAS TO BE GENUINE. Direct game, if not genuine, is seedy, manipulative weirdness.

S+A is a vibe. It is a route of expression.

The inner game stuff, the practice - all that jazz, is the iceberg. This is the tip.

This is not a shortcut.

IT'S JUST NOT A MASSIVE DETOUR, which a lot of highly tactical systems are.

I'm certain that if you've never done anything like this before it is scary, so just understand that there are several elements to this that go on behind the scenes.

One is your general abilities of self-expression and creative speech. The other
big part of it is sexual expression.

CLOSING STATEMENTS

Shock and Awe is the pinnacle of direct game as I practice it.

Fool's Mate game.

No BS, no tactics, just straight in there, make a girl feel really hot, have great fun with her, be cool, go back to your/her place and do the hunka-chunka. Problem solved.

This isn't about tricking girls into stuff, or playing them. If you try that, you'll fail, and I will personally batter you senseless with your own shoes.

This is about refusing to be a leaf in the hurricane.

This is about being the hurricane, gentlemen.

Forget the leaf, my friends. Be the hurricane.

Ever Yours
Ciaran

THE APOCALYPSE OPENER

Chat up lines don't work. That's the main problem with them.

I mean, we all know this. If there was a simple line you could just spiel out and get a girl, the community wouldn't be as big as it is.

The fact is, getting a girl isn't really about what you say. It's about what you DEMONSTRATE and what you PROJECT.

HOWEVER...

What if there WAS a chat up line that did work? What if there was a chat up line that led to an instant makeout? What then?
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

What I am about to share with you is some potent fucking shit.

Do you understand?

Good.

When I showed this to Jeffy, he took one look at it, then nodded, and said "That's some potent fucking shit."

My point is this.

If you cannot handle doing Shock and Awe, you are not ready for this shit yet.

This is NOT a magic pill.

If you are a broken fucking value taking Gollum-like chode who wants to 'get one over' on women and life, who wants to seek petty vengeance for the myriad grudges that you nurse on a daily basis to justify the uselessness of your pathetic existence... this will not work.

How do I know this?

Because I've been that chode.

Get your inner game sorted.

I recommend the work of Eckhart Tolle.

So with no further ado, gents, here we go. I hope you're sitting comfortably.
THE BEST CHAT UP LINE I EVER HEARD

About 18 months ago I was in the smoking area of a pub on Edinburgh's Royal Mile. It's very picturesque. There's a castle and everything. Anyway, this time I'm out with just ONE girl. She's a good friend of mine, and for matters of convenience and privacy, we shall call her Susan.

So me and Susan are chatting away, and the subject wanders on to chat-up lines. I asked her what the worst chat-up line she ever heard was and she gave me some chodely horror-story of unimaginable lameness.

Then I asked her

"So... what's the best chat up line you've ever heard?"

Susan considered this for a while, and then said this:

"Ok, this one guy had a great one a while back. It worked on me."

"What do you mean, it worked on you?"

"It worked. I banged him."

"Nice. You're very ladylike."

Susan smiled politely.

"So what was it?" I asked.
THE APOCALYPSE OPENER...

"Well," she said, "it goes like this...

What she then told me made me literally choke on my beer. It was genius. I will never know who this man is, but whoever he is he deserves a prize. A big, shiny Nobel prize.

Here it is, lads:

You rock up to a chick and, in a confident, level voice you say

"Hey, how's it going."

She will say

"Fine."

You then say

"Cool. What are you doing later?"

She will say

"I'm not sure."

You then say

"Do you want to come home with me?"

Then you hold.

Hold.

HOLD....................

HOLD IT MY SON..........................

HOLD THE FUCKING LINE..................

Boom. Makeout.

And that's the Apocalypse opener. You don't 'build rapport.' You don't 'elicit values.' You don't 'kino escalate.' You don't even ask her fucking NAME. You ask if she wants to sleep with you in the THIRD SENTENCE, hold the line, and reap the whirlwind.
CIARAN, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

Nope. It is and remains the most amazingly powerful chat up line I've ever seen in my life. I realise that you're all just shaking your heads with a million problems that you can see with doing this, so let's go through this step-by-step.
DOES IT WORK?

Well, let me tell you a story.

After hearing this, I resolved to give it a go. I went out to a bar that night, and walked about the place.

Now, at this point I wasn't by any means a Jedi, but I wasn't shit. I could consistently open, I could flirt, I could get the occasional makeout. What I'm saying is that I'd gotten to a point where I could approach without that much anxiety.

Dude, I was shitting my pants. Mother of God, man. Looking at all these beautiful women, just the thought of going up to one of them and coming OUT with this shit was terrifying. I sank pint after pint of booze. I walked around some more. I drank more booze. I lurked in the corner for a while. I was still shitting my pants without a SINGLE approach when the bouncers started herding people out the door.

Fuck. I'd missed my chance.

No. No, no, no. No way. Not me. Not now. I was going to do this. If I crashed out, if I messed up, whatever - I'd take the pain. I was going to say this. Honestly, it felt like my VERY FIRST APPROACH all over again. I was really, really scared.

I walked out of the bar into the milling crowd. Fuck it. I'm going to do this. Someone. Anyone.

And there she was. Delicate, like a fairy almost. Red hair, really rich and deep red, and a quirky dress that melted my heart.

Fuck.

Fuckitty fuck fuck. We're going in.

Ok, Ciaran. Concentrate on getting the first line out. That's not so bad.

"Hey" I blurt.

"Hey." She's even prettier close up. DO IT, CIARAN. DO IT!!

"How's it going?"

"Not bad."

"What are you up to later?"

"Not sure."

DO IT MAN!! EYE OF THE TIGER!!

"Do you want to come home with me?

She looks at me. She's gauging. I've never felt attention this intense. It's like a laserbeam scorching me for any signs of incongruence. Luckily enough, she's hot, so there aren't any. The urge to say something, to break the tension is PALPABLE. I CLAMP my jaw tight shut to silence myself.

She sways backward, stunned. Then she jumps me. Physically lunges forward and puts her tongue in my mouth.

BAM.

Incidentally, there was a guy there - a very strong natural - who had been hitting on her all evening, and had got her to agree to come back to his (I found this all out later). Didn't matter. Blew him the fuck away with this ONE SENTENCE.

This girl wasn't a slut. She wasn't a freak. She was a cool, normal chick.

She was hot too. Really hot.

Nice.
TREMBLE BEFORE THE COMING APOCALYPSE

So why does this work? Is it magic?

Well actually, there's no magic here. It's all really simple, and rests on EXACTLY the reason I gave at the start of the article for why chat-up lines don't work.

It's not about what you say.

It's about what you DEMONSTRATE and what you PROJECT.

Let's go back to that sunny afternoon on Edinburgh. I'm in the smoking area, talking to Susan.

So anyway, I finish choking on my beer.

"What? He said what?"

"Do you want to come home with me."

And what did you do?

"Well, I didn't jump him straight away, but I was just really impressed that he had the balls to come out with something like that."

"Yeah. Wow, that certainly is an impressive introduction."

"Damn straight. After that all he needed to do was just maybe buy me a drink or something and I was his."

"Cool."

"Yup."

So let's look at this, straight from the horses' mouth. So to speak.

She was REALLY IMPRESSED that he had the BALLS to COME OUT with something like that.
REALLY IMPRESSED

The power of this opener is massive. It lies in the fact that it is HONEST. It is genuine to the turbo-max.

All of my 'game' is based around this principal. Be genuine, but be genuine times 1000. Don't just 'be yourself', fucking BE yourself. Be yourself to the motherfucking HILT.

Do you understand?

She will NEVER HAVE HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE.

If you do this, a girl will be really impressed that you DEMONSTRATE the courage to say this. And believe me, you cannot fake it. This shit takes balls.
BALLS

I'm not going to lie to you. It is SCARY doing the Apocalypse Opener.

But that's good. That's WHY it works.

Because it is genuinely scary, it is INCREDIBLY impressive. But you need the balls to come out with it.
COME OUT WITH IT

At the same time, your delivery itself - and here's the crazy thing - is actually NOT THAT IMPORTANT.

I know. Nuts.

The truth is, the first time I said this I was SCARED. Really, really scared.

It still worked.

It's so powerful. You don't need to be amazing, and you don't need the inner game of the Fonz to attempt this. I didn't have much inner game at all when I started reeling it out.

All you need to do is NOT CRUMBLE.

That is all. Just come out with it, then don't crumble.
THE KEY TO MAKING IT WORK

The key to making it work is not how you say it, but what you do in the 30 seconds after it's left your mouth.

Before I talk specifics, let's state the single CARDINAL SIN of the Apocalypse, which is the ONLY THING that can blow you out.
NEVER BE WEIRD

That's it. Don't be weird. You have to deliver the opener deadpan. Like you are talking about the WEATHER. You are not making a BIG THING of it. You're just ASKING.

You are not MOCKING. You are not JOKING. You are not TOO SERIOUS.

It is NOT PLAYFUL however - it is REAL.

You are REALLY ASKING HER.

If she says no - you only need ONE COMEBACK.

It is this:

"Ok."

Then you strike up a 'normal' conversation about the colour of the wallpaper, or the music that's playing, or the fact that you did your laundry earlier today.

Whatever.
HOW DO I KNOW IF IT'S WORKED?

You will know because you will see two things in that girl's eyes.

Shock, motherfucker. SHOCK and AWE.

If she looks shocked, you've got her. If she looks stunned, she's yours. If she takes it in her stride, she's the coolest cucumber in the world, and you should probably marry her. extremely fast.
WAIT, CIARAN! WHAT IF IT BACKFIRES?

It never backfires as long as you don't panic.

That's right - there is only ONE THING you must NOT DO while using the Apocalypse Opener...

And that is to lose your shit like a fucking pussy.

I know. Crazy. As long as you aren't weird, or creepy, it never backfires.

But REMEMBER.

You are not trying to PERSUADE HER TO SLEEP WITH YOU.

This is so UTTERLY CRUCIAL I am going to write it in red letters.

You are NOT trying to PERSUADE HER TO SLEEP WITH YOU.

You are just putting the OPTION in front of her. If she says no, you say 'ok' and talk about your nephew's new pet dog. Or whatever.

If you do this in a creepy or sleazy way, you will be shot down like a blind, 96-year old German who doesn't know the war's ended, doing a strafing run on a US Destroyer-Class Battleship in a Messerschmitt Me 262.

That is to say, extremely quickly.

So DO NOT ATTEMPT to ENTICE her into sleeping with you.

This is important NOT JUST in the vibe of the line itself (where, again, it is absolutely crucial). It is important in what comes after.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T JUMP ME?

She'll only jump you, in my experience, about 30-50% of the time.

Equally, this is a MASSIVE percentage for ONE LINE.

However, the other 50-70% of the time, she will not jump you. Not for at least 6 or 7 minutes.

This is FINE. Just chill out. She will be testing you for signs of neediness but remember - all you need to do is talk about the WEATHER.

You do not need to do anything else to ATTRACT her. That phase is OVER. She will be stunned by what you said. Now all you need to do, and I cannot OVERSTRESS this, is ACT NORMAL.

This is, incidentally, the only place where it is ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE for you to buy her a drink, for three reasons: 1: It shows you are normal 2: It acts a kind of 'token wooing' to sate her girly ego 3: It shows you are normal

Ok?

Just ACT NORMAL for the love of God. Talk about anything. She will be SUPER-INTO-YOU. She just wants to know you're not a serial killer before she takes you home.
I THINK THAT IT ONLY SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA FOR DRUNK CHICKS AT CLOSING TIME

Then you're a pussy.

I've opened girls on the street with it. Successfully. They don't normally jump you, but they do find it fun, cool and engagingly forward. And sometimes they jump you.

It works brilliantly in a bar or club, but you don't need to save it to the end of the evening unless you're looking for a good night out. After a while (I'm not kidding, this really happens) it gets kind of frustrating when you want a night out with your friends and you keep getting dragged off by chicks.

No, really.

Anyway, you can do this anywhere. You can open with it at the start of the night. You can open with it at the end of the night.

Incidentally, I have never had a bad reaction from a woman when doing this. Ever. Even if you accidentally slip into sleaze, she'll just walk off, but this rarely happens.

This one hooks like a motherfucker.

The other thing is this- if she walks off in shock, do not follow her. Let her go. She'll be back in about 15 seconds. Maximum 60.
DO YOU STARE AT HER AFTER YOU ASK?

You never stare. You look. Empty your mind, young grasshopper. Read the Power Of Now. You lock eyes with her. That is all - but then again I would argue that you lock eyes with her all the time. In fact, I would argue that you lock eyes with everyone you interact with in your entire life.

Just look at her. Calm. Level. Like your question is completely normal and in context. She will break.
IF SHE SAYS 'NO' AND I JUST STICK IN THERE, WILL SHE COME AROUND?

Yes.

In fact, it is awesome when she says no... because it gives you an opportunity to demonstrate a reality stronger than cobalt steel.

Here's what you do.

If she says no, you say "ok" in the same tone of voice as if you had offered her a prawn cocktail crisp and she had said "no thank you." Then you ask her what she thought of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 or something.

Or you talk about the burger you had for breakfast or what the weather was like last tuesday or what-fucking-ever.

In 10 minutes (tops) she'll be on your face.
SHOULD I DO THIS IN FRONT OF HER FRIENDS?

No.

You CANNOT do this if a girl is within earshot of her friends. If it's a club, you can do it with only a few feet of distance between her and her mates because of the loud noise.

The important thing is that she feels that it is a private exchange for EXACTLY the reason you think. If you do this in front of her mate she will look at you like you're scum and blow you out.

Amazingly, this never, ever happens, ever, if she is on her own.

Chicks.

Gotta love em.
WHAT IF I STARED AT HER BOOBS? WOULD THAT WORK?

No. Remember - this is COOL. You deliver this in the same tone as if you're asking about the weather. Not a throwaway line, mind...

Just a genuine, totally normal, direct question.

Boom, mofos.
SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GOOD FOR ONE NIGHT STANDS... BUT YOU COULDN'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OF THESE CHICKS, COULD YOU?

Of course you can. Stop asking stupid questions.

You can start a relationship off a purely sexual one night stand no problem.

As Tim once said - there's a time and a place for emotional connection.

After sex.
CAN I WAIT FOR A FEW MINUTES INTO THE CONVERSATION TO USE THE LINE?

NO.

It loses power and effectiveness rapidly the longer you wait to say it.

The power and impact of this derives from the fact that you are balls out opening with the option of sex.

You can say it later, of course - and she might not freak out. You may get a makeout, and it will increase attraction as long as you can hold your shit and cope with fallout - but if you do it later she also might just bolt.

If you're looking for an instant hook up, do this fast.
I THINK LOOKS WILL MATTER HERE. (JUST MY 2 CENTS)

Your two cents are worthless.

Dude, I'm not here to debate abstract concepts of female attraction and how they relate to looks.

I'm telling you that this works regardless of what you look like, because that is what I have seen, over and over again, with my own eyes.

Quasimodo could pull this off if he had big enough balls.

I don't care if you believe me. This works. I know because I've done it, I've seen others do it.

At no point have looks ever been even an incidental factor in the success of this line.

I have consistently pulled model hot chicks with this while looking like a tramp.

Anyone who thinks looks matter... even in the slightest... when it comes to being good with girls, is a fucking pussy ass chode. If you think differently, you are a chode, and your opinion is irrelevant.

Now sit in the corner, and think about what you've done.
FAIR ENOUGH, LOOKS DON'T MATTER. BUT I'M STILL STRUGGLING WITH THE BELIEF THAT ANY SOBER GIRL WOULD FUCK A GUY ON THE SAME NIGHT SHE MEETS HIM.

Hahahahaha! Oh! AHAHAHA! OOOOOOH!

*pants*

OOOOOOOOHOHOHOHO!

AHAHAHAHA!

Ahahahaha.

Haha.

Hee.

Hoo.

Hnnnnnnnnng.

They will dude. Your beliefs are irrelevant. They will.

Oh yes.

They will.

Cool.

COOL! COULD I TAKE A CHICK OFF HER 'BOREFRIEND?'

Um... the 'borefriend' mentality is one I'd advise you to steer clear of. There are plenty of hot single chicks in the world.

Really - the idea that all hot chicks are boyfriending is a myth. It smack to me of scarcity also. Putting aside karmic retribution, there's a kind of natural justice to the affairs of men, and getting seriously into pulling chicks with partners can cause major problems if you ever meet a girl you really like.

Also, it feeds into a dark side of yourself (and not cool dark like Vader, but bad dark like Gollum) to indulge the desire to fuck girls with boyfriends.

Oh, and one last thing.

For the love of God, do NOT do the Apocalypse opener in front of a girl's boyfriend. This would be fucking stupid. Be aware. Ok?
OOOOO! A MAGIC LINE THAT WILL HAND ME GAME! I SHALL USE IT INSTANTLY!

Ok, I see what's happening here.

You're thinking 'I've got this opener/this new method and I can go out and use it to get laid.'

Very understandable.

Also, doomed to fail.

Now I'm not going to preach at you, even for an instant. I am not a moral man. The ONLY problem, from your point of view, with feeling the above, is that if you're in this headspace the opener won't work.

If you've got that kind of desperate, frantic 'I've just found the magic pill to fuck all women... sssssss... precious... I wantssss it...' vibe about you, she will throw a drink in your face.

S+A isn't a method, and the Apocalypse opener isn't a trick.

Both of them are ways to express what you ALREADY feel for a woman in a way that is hardcore direct and won't weird them out.

This is not about some 'sneaky way' to get laid fast. This is about giving you the ability to unashamedly express your desires as a man in a way that transcends social weirdness and creates massive amounts of hard attraction, fast.

This is the polar opposite of sneakiness. This is hyperhonesty.
GROUP APOCALYPSE

Rock up to two chicks and say exactly the same thing, with this interesting twist:

"Hey, how's it going."

They will say

"Fine."

You then say

"Cool. What are you doing later?"

They will say

"I'm not sure."

You then say

"What are the chances of you two coming back to mine for a threesome?"

Then you hold.

Hold.

HOLD....................

HOLD IT MY SON..........................

HOLD THE FUCKING LINE..................

Boom.

That 'Boom' incidentally, is the heart of the S+A system.

It's where you see it in a girl's eyes. Shock, and awe.

It is the most rewarding thing you'll ever see after years in the wasteland being ignored by women. Most men go their whole lives and never see it. It's amazing. After you've seen it a few times it changes you, changes your whole outlook on life. It's like something connects, deep inside you. Some long-lost circuit. After I'd done this a couple of times my whole voice changed, became more resonant. It was awesome.

So that, my friends, is the Apocalypse Opener. The only chat-up line I ever found that actually works. I've spoken about it at length, because I want to hammer home one point.

It works. It's not THAT hard to do. You DO NOT NEED to be amazing at this to pull this off. If you can blurt it out and hold your nerve, you can do this.

Now get out there, and nail this shit to the ground.

'Jealous girlfriend' my hairy white ass.

Peace out

Ciaran